Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
It was hard getting out of bed today. The stress really takes it out of me.
Time to get some more kanji into my brain; ue, shita, ushiro, etc. I know the words and the positions pretty well but not the kanji and last night we were supposed to have had the second oral quiz so I studied for it intensely...
We ended up not having the quiz and sensei handed me a marker to write kanji. I just looked at him and said, out loud, sure, right...
So I went to the board and wrote ushiro, being honest about not knowing it because I worked on other things. Cracked the class up and sensei smiled. He made a comment about it not being on my hard drive and I quipped, it's not on ANY drive, then I mumbled about studying for the oral quiz instead.
I have no clue now when the quiz will be and right now I do not give a shit. We have started a new section and I am going to work on keeping up this time and worry about the oral quiz later. I desperately need to get those kanji settled in my brain.
I can only concentrate on one thing at a time for the class or it all gets muddled. Old brain, ya know. It likes to data dump when things are not being used too.
Another task is to get all the hiragana learned (like I did the katagana) before sensei gives them all to us. Of course, I cannot figure out any of those words although I can sound them out.
We are not doing anything for the holiday. Ren faire and caroling pretty much killed my desire to dress up for Halloween. I am going to wear regular clothes and if I feel like it, I will strap on my dragon wings for the office tomorrow and see if anyone notices.
Oh joy... my throat is feeling scratchy, just like rat's did before he caught the cold. Also feeling pressure and itchiness in my ears. Gonna go look for some time-release vit-C in the kitchen then head back to bed. Bet that's another reason why I am feeling drained.
You're one of the few canon pairings there are, and yet so many people are squicked by the incest that they prefer to ignore it. You never minded being related, because you were in love, and everything was perfect. You had no qualms sleeping with each other. Your relationship ended in the worst way-- one of you watched your lover commit suicide before your own eyes. A beautifully angsty and twisted pairing... and yet SO many people are squicked by that tiny little incest factor...
Good thing I have taken off tomorrow (Tues), Wed & Thurs to study. Tonight Sensei hit us with having the quiz this Wednesday. Fuck... He went over the oral quiz again and once again I sat stupidly, which was annoying because I have already spent three hours drilling that damned review. The review is much more simplistic than what he was asking us tonight. I am considering not even showing up for the quiz and taking a zero. But maybe he will grade on another giant curve so I should try it... Blegh...
All of this is driving me bonkers because I have seen no actual use of this in any of my manga/doujin so I have no reference points to remind me of stuff if I get stuck.
Then he went over all the kanji we should know. Some of them I had only heard as just a word one time before and only in my notes and without ANY kanji reference! I am at another serious frustration point.
I will be friggin' busy the next three days.
I think I will eat something and sort through my flashcards...
I am VERY VERY worried about all of you in California! PLEASE keep safe, okay? And I am worried about your health, too! Take care of your lungs and eyes and everything else as well!
rat had to work today, Sunday. Damnit. He also seems to have caught a cold, something he rarely does. Has to be all the exposure to so many different people where he works now. It could be sinus but he thinks otherwise.
I got a flu shot on Thursday. So I should not get any extreme flu symptoms. Understand, I still DO get the flu. I just don't get it so horribly as I could get it if I did not have the shot.
The bed is covered in study stuff. Made more Japanese flashcards. They really do seem to help me. I have flashcards coming out of the wazoo now. I use different coloured cards for the katakana and hiragana and different coloured pens on white cards for the nouns, adjectives, etc. Kanji are white cards with black strokes. I think I will need to stop by OfficeDepot and get one of those large plastic school supplies boxes to put all of them in, first dividing them up into types and using ziplocks to keep them separated. Either that or one of those divided photo prints boxes. They are taking over the place!
Still stuck on some of the concepts, nouns and adjectives but the 23 hiragana are pretty much nailed. Have tried to add some of hiragana we haven't learned yet but am hesitant, only because the oral quiz is so utterly brain consuming.
Although sensei did not give us the sheets to do the katakana homework I did it anyway and typed it up in Word so I can turn it in tomorrow. No, I am not a suck-up. Just because he didn't provide the sheet to put it on does not mean the homework could not get done...
Still cannot get the Japanese IME to work with Office '97. Looks like I am going to have to upgrade software to get what I have at work with Office XP. It works great at work. Maybe I can get it to work with an Office 2000 upgrade...
Finished up the dubbed Gundam Wing, finally. For a minute I was going to get very violent about Zechs' fate, but the "Endless Waltz" movie redeemed the series.
Sorry, I still find Heero boring and useless except as a robotic fighter. I would change his name to Zeero, like in zero personality, zero redeeming qualities, zero everything. Maybe he SHOULD be Relena, just to punish her!
Just a quick break in the Language Lab... Been here a little over an hour already.
Going from the lesson tape and preparing to start the oral quiz #2 review. Convenient they have computers here.
Still having trouble 'hearing' the subtle differences of words, especially when words are slurred together like 'ga arimasu' turns into 'gaarimasu'. Since I am a little deaf to begin with (too many years using bad headphones to listen to too loud music) I lose some of what is being said.
DEVIL/PAN
"the joker, worker, stabilizer" You are gifted when it comes to protecting yourself from judgements cast upon you by others. In fact, you are not easily thrown by external reality. You have the capacity to work and play hard and to laugh at yourself. This is the card of humour and sexuality (it is the only card with genital symbols). "Devil" spelled backwards is "lived", and it is very fitting. You live with humour and have a stable foothold on life. Of course, you do love setting the occasional bit of mischief into play.
At 7:15am this morning it was about 65 degrees outside, and it is going up to 92 today, yuck. Tomorrow the predicted high is 63, yay!
Got the annual card in the mail for the International Quilt Festival, held in Houston. It is an utterly incredible event! A convention center the size of a football stadium, stuffed with quilts, vendors and other crafts.
I hope to get two, perhaps three days off next week for serious study.
Blogger was not working at 3:30am this morning so this did not get posted during the actual time I wrote it:
Just woke up from one of those 'can't find myself out of this building' dreams and now cannot get back to sleep. Went to bed very early so I am not surprised I cannot fall back asleep. Body is used to being short-changed on sleep during the week. Teeth are grinding again. Talon, I have no clue how much panic was in my voice when I left you a message last night.
I will be pretty much not around in the evenings and this weekend and probably the next few weeks because sensei took us to the language lab for the second oral quiz review last night (already!) and the words and concepts he used I was utterly clueless about. We learned imasu/imasen and arimasu/arimasen while I was sweating the first oral quiz prep so none of that stuck. He just went over the spacial relations last week and he expects them for the quiz. I cannot even type the words in Japanese because I do not remember them, except naka, inside/middle. Plus he added 'thing' nouns like bicycle (name? got me!) and particles like ni I don't have in my head.
I am going to have to do some mega-drilling, starting tonight in the lab. Definitely spending a few hours in the lab Sat as well. Plus, for me to concentrate I will have to ban myself from the tech room where the toys are and just study in another room so I will not be distracted or tempted. Already told rat we cannot do Saiyuki, which made him pout a bit so I compromised and said one ep a night while I am having dinner.
I do not know when the oral quiz will occur but I had better start working on it now or I will sit there like I did last night and just blink and hold my head. The sentences have gotten even longer. And he expects us to remember stuff from the first oral quiz. Sorry, I have already done a data dump on that stuff. My brain only holds so much now and all that stuff is now back with my paper reference only, not my head.
And he gave us more homework, more katakana translations, due Monday.
Hope to pop out during breathers during the weekdays, if possible. Cannot guarantee it though. Last week it was Monday until Thursday afternoon, then Friday it was Monday again. Other office issues I haven't had time to write down yet also occurred, some which made me livid with rage. I am better now, but I am still not pleased with perceptions of some people at work. I desperately need to take vacation time so I can do some hardcore studying and I now do not know when I will get any, especially since the attitude of some at the office is ... nope, not going into it now. I WILL take vacation soon. I HAVE to so I can get this stuff in my head.
Hn, the boys in my head have shut up. I think they might be scared to speak up...
Anyway, I am going to try and go back to sleep now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Real Time:
Fuck, only got four hours of sleep total.... I hate when this happens.
In class Monday sensei showed us we already knew half (24) of the hiragana kana either by word association (words/phrases we already knew) or how much they looked like katakana so it is assumed we will remember them as well. Sheesh! Hope we don't have a quiz tonight on them because I did not look at them.
He also gave us our first homework. He referred us to a page in our workbook filled with katakana he had clipped from various sources and we have to translate the vowel, k and s sections into English. Since we have no real context to refer to (like where was the sign hanging/did the ad have pictures/etc) it has been an interesting exercise. He did have a few images scattered about as hints for some of the words. The cartoon of the guy holding up a square with the word 'condom' on it was a hint for 'safe sex'. I finally had to go out to an online dictionary source to find the answer for 'sarusa', which, according to the dictionary is 'salsa'. Never would have gotten THAT one!
So I worked on the homework Monday and Tuesday night. After I finished last night I had to do the hamrantula. Xe, I must admit, you mentioning ham-hams was part of the reason why I altered the image. I had been considering finding a photo of a guinea pig or gerbil and doing the same kind of thing since Joules had mentioned guineas and rabbits in her blog. The ham-ham was a perfect compromise, especially since ham-hams are one of the staple food items at the Liquid Rodent Canteen.
The idea of Relena being overwhelmed by rabid ham-hams is a very happy thought. As an aside, did you know Relena's name is really spelled Ririna? The katakana in the GW ep title says it is so! I can hear little ham-ham voices now, Weeweenahhhh! Killkill!
You could try thinking of it as a small furry creature, like the rabbit, and the guinea pigs... Hn... an eight-legged guinea pig... with eight eyes... well, perhaps not...
It may not be a guinea pig, but what about this, a hamrantula?
There is NO WAY I could have made the grade I did with all the tongue-tied answers I gave. It was really bad, folks, really and truly bad! When he gave the answers after we had completed our replies I was wrong 80% of the time.
Well yeah, that's why it's a fantasy!!! If real life was satisfying I wouldn't NEED a fantasy life, right?
Hmm, don't know about that, lovey!
I am happy with many aspects of my life. Of course true happiness would have us independently wealthy, jetting around the world, spending money as we wished without repercussions, having homes all over this planet, visiting our friends, you get my drift.
I look at a fantasy life as part of a creative mind. Sometimes the charas help us work out real life issues. Sometimes they are there just to mess with by putting them in situations and determining how they would act and react. I think it is a healthy way to entertain oneself as well. Who needs TV with an active imagination?
I've had charas living in my head since I was about six as well, and they still live there, are still VERY active and even help me with stories. Don't know what I would do without them there!
Of course, then I have Grumpy and the Fluffball as recent additions to the head chatter. Even Vejiita never got this insistent! The Brat Prince has only popped in for walk-ons and shared crankiness a few times.
rat confesses to having zero imagination. I really do not believe that entirely but he does have problems coming up with and working through 'what if' situations. He is perfectly happy to react to something at the time it hits him in the face without considering all the avenues he might have conjectured prior to the hit.
When it comes to online friends rat does not seem to have any problems with it. He only gets scared when after I read a tasty bit of lemon I look at him with a predatory leer. He starts whining (all in fun) about me trying to kill him.
I am lucky he is so low-maintenance but still responsive and loving, the only guy I have met who has been like that.
Xe made some valid points, of course.
Oh, I WILL still be calling, Talon, of that you may be sure. I find it humourous though, especially since we chat maybe once every two months or so. Jim is jealous of little old stumpy me?
~~~~
Anne, I wish you lived here and knew multimedia.
One of my student assistants is an excellent worker, tutors students needing help, keeps the lab neat, is always willing to pitch in and has an incredibly positive attitude which is refreshing and rubs off on grumpy me. The staff all find him a wonderful asset to the department and we do not want him to graduate because we want to keep him around for as long as possible.
It does not matter to us in the least he is going through the process of physically changing into a woman. That aspect of his life does not affect his ability to be an incredible and greatly appreciated worker.
I wish you strength and the tenacity to endure until people get over themselves.
Finally got rat to sit down and watch some more Saiyuki with me today. Watched eps 5-20. I am happy he is finding it as entertaining as I did the first time 'round. Picked up a little more Japanese I recognised as well. Hakkai likes to say "so desu ne" quite a bit.
Have some variations on the yaoi animated gif on my website now if anyone wants one. Just 'save as' and it is yours.
some blog stuff:
Joules, eeww, a tarantula for a pet? rat commented the problem with them is they will not give out any affection. I suppose Kai really isn't interested in that as much as observing behavior. The Cobalt Blue one really is a lovely critter. The one I got up close and personal with was the same colour as the brownish-red dirt we both were standing on. From the photos it looks like the Chilean Rose might 'pick' its colours from its environment. So maybe putting some rocks with the colours desired may do the trick. Of course, I could just be talking through my hat.
Last night rat stumbled in from sleep and I ribbed him about giving me some 'good loving'. He showed me his closed fist and said he caught a roach crawling on him while he was asleep. YEESH! So glad I wasn't in the room working on something quiet while that happened and was in front of the computer in the other room instead. I detest roaches and they are common in TX.
Hurray for Ripley's beginning reading skills!
HAHAHA! Joules has been looking at the Neiman Marcus online catalog page, known around here as Needless Markup. Neimans is a Dallas institution, you know. That mermaid costume is really quite fine, by the way.
Talon, your tale of your brother makes me happy I am an only child. I will always deny any blood relation to the half-sibs I have never met and I have only talked to one on the phone three times. He only calls when he wants reaffirmation our common biological shithead is not worth thinking or caring about.
Lutra, your adventures at the museum always sound so interesting! I am not fond of traveling to downtown Dallas. It just has a 'creepy' feeling about it for some reason. I just trust my gut and stuttering sixth-sense on these feelings and never go alone.
Wishing you lots of positive vibes with the next stage of Kai's assessment, Joules! The school sounds like they are definitely working with you and giving good advise as well!
Ah, yes, Kurama as a demon fox, that is one yummy boy, Talon, yes? And the blatant yaoi dripping all over those eps, my oh my! Both rat and I giggled a lot. And we are both Hiei fans! He's a shorter and more fae version of Vejiita, after all.
*prods Lutra* Still want to see scans or pics of some of your quilt stars. *nudge nudge*
Find the info about the eyes in Japanese culture fascinating, Joules. Really does explain a lot about how the eyes are drawn in manga/anime.
Iskhys, thanks for all the input about the banner! However, while the artworks were helpful you must know I never use other people's artwork without permission. So if you are willing to wait a while I will try to draw a chibi Van and use it in the banner. Or I can do something now without any images and make something later with an image. Will that be okay?
Thanks for the encouragement about the test, everyone. Although I know I flunked I really do appreciate everyone's good wishes.
Hm, chapter 13 of R&L you say, Talon? *drums fingers* Grunt, leave me alone and get over to Talon's place and pester her for a while. He made me start yet another snippet yesterday... He needs to get off my back so I can concentrate on Japanese. Of course, any R&L chapter is an excuse to stop and beta-read, you know... *grin*
The Comet hell sounded awful, Joules. Glad you were finally able to find something!
At work I have some comments about Jim's reaction, Talon. Will finish and post later.
Anne, have some comments at work for you as well. I do a lot of bits and pieces on notepad at work so I won't forget what I wanted to say.
Merfolk, huh, Joules? One of the many beings I used to sculpt in clay in college. Also did some stylized drawings of them for porcelain plates. If I still had some of them I would send you one but at the time I was just giving away a lot of my stuff without even cataloging it. I do enjoy fantasy charas.
Late last night I was to the point of wanting to shave my head. Have never done it but I do think about it occasionally. I even walked into rat's bathroom and dug around for the electric clippers, hoping to find out what was the longest cutting comb (or whatever they are called). Good thing I didn't find it or rat might have woken up to a buzzcut on me.
Why such a knee-jerk reaction? Many reasons. My very curly hair does not grow regularly so sections circling my head are shorter than others. Right now, the various lengths and the frizzy comb-out makes it look like I am wearing a mutated mushroom on my head. Also, I really need to colour it and it needs two boxes to do it when I let the roots go this long. Cutting all my hair off would also let me know just what colour my natural hair is now as well. I see lots of white mixed with the dark brown and I would like to know just how much grey hair the Japanese class has put there.
Well, the some of the details of the oral quiz are a bit amusing. First off, I had planned on sitting well in the back but when I got there my classmate h-san had already laid claim to a seat in one of the front booths so I sat next to him. This put me right smack-dab in front of the teacher's station. Fuck... There went all my French quips and Japanese cussing because sensei would actually be able to hear me even with his headphones on!
Some of you may already know about this but it was new thing to this tired geezer; the oral test is given in the language lab where the cubbies are already set up with these odd-looking recorders. They also have these small monitors with built-in VCR decks plus PCs. The monitors also work with the teacher's station over-head so the instructor can show the students something and then tape the responses. The instructor can have control over all the tape decks from the station as well. Although the machinary looks quite antiquated it does the job. The large headsets at each station have attached microphones for us to speak the answers into. We can also hear him through the headphones.
Sensei told us he would ask a question and we were to wait until he raised his hand before responding. He would be turning the tapes on and instead of all of us frantically looking down to see if the red recording button was on while attempting to formulate our answers in our head he told us to just watch him.
Of course, the guy right behind me did not hear about waiting so throughout the quiz he would start talking before it was actually time to record the answer and while I was trying to work up the answer. It was very distracting as you can well imagine and the girl next to him gently chided him for it after the quiz. I heard her, turned around and commented too, saying hearing him was like having this distracting voice come up over my head. h-san quipped something about being louder than the usual voices in my head and we all laughed about it. h-san has heard about the chara nattering in my brain. I wasn't mad at the guy, but it WAS annoying. I was having enough trouble getting my thoughts together as it was.
Sensei attempted to calm us all down at one point during the quiz. He had asked us if that was our car (picture of a car in the 'are' quadrant of the page with the label 'my car' on it). The meat of the answer he was looking for was "watashi no kuruma desu." (basically it's my car) but he said he heard a few " watashi wa kuruma desu.", which means I am a car. He said he did not realize some of us were cars, which, of course, made us giggle and broke the tension some. At the end he gave us a minute air time to talk about the class and whatever was on our mind about it. Of course I nattered away far longer than most but not as long as some. I did tell him I had a nightmare but I did not give him the details. I did say because of it I had to back off for at least 48 hours. Afterward h-san and I were downstairs talking about weird Japanese snacks like dried squid and sensei passed by and patted me on the back. I told him he would find my tape vastly amusing and to enjoy all the errors.
Thursday went to the lab after work for the lesson review and I know I need to go do it again soon. Lots of new concepts in class and on the tape; on top, under, inside, behind, in front of, plus more ways to express this, there and the like.
Friday after work went to Borders and picked up the text they use at the Japanese Learning Institute in town. Too bad the beginning class will not begin until next August and I definitely do not want to go try and sit in now. Picked up some CDs which claim they don't teach bits and pieces but actual conversational sentences. Got another dictionary so I would have one at each end of the house instead of having to traipse back and forth looking for it. Got some little book about making love in Japanese, really a book on what to say. Thought it might enlighten me and clue me in to anything I find in some of the phrases in anime or manga. And picked up book three of Fake. Our local Borders began with one small bookshelf of translated manga and now they have two large bookshelves stuffed with them, including Fake and Gravitation! Also saw Escaflowne, Pet Shop of Horrors and others I am not familiar with except for their titles. I am so proud and pleased!
~~~~~~~
Since I got up at my usual weekday time to meet my mother to go to a craft show early this morning I am now tired out and am going to take a nap. More later, as well as comments to blogs and such.
"And The Demon took advantage of the chaos and seized civillization. With grace and style, Demon slit The Goddess's belly and drowned the world in her blood. The Goddess,The Demon, and the world were no more."
Some examples of the Demon Form are Seth (Egyptian) and The Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Christian). The Demon is associated with the concept of destruction, the number 8, and the element of earth. His sign is the full moon.
As a member of Form 8, you are a very strong willed individual. You don't let others' opinions sway your own and you're usually not afraid to speak your mind. However, some may see you as a bit overly passionate but it's just because you never back down from your values. No matter what, you always do everything with style. Demons are the best friends to have because they will back you up.
I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally inner peace.....
It reads:
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started." I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished.
So, today I have finished one bottle of white wine, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Baileys, my Prozac, a large box of chocolates and a quart of beer.
You have no idea how good I feel.
You may pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace......
No lab last night. Did not even go over to check out the next tape for home. I said, no more Japanese today.
I figure I will get the question about my name and the few questions about what the objects are in relation to personal space. Got those short 'kore', 'sore' and 'are' answers down. He has used pen, borupen, kamera, megane, kuruma, rajio, nimotsu, shinbun (still shaky on remembering that one) and enpitsu. So I will probably do fine on about a fourth of the quiz.
The parts I fumble I will just speak French ('je ne sais pas que' for I don't know, 'je ne comprends pas' for I don't comprehend and "je suis tres stupide toujours" for I am always very stupid) or English and name the object in Japanese. I also suspect 'baka' will slip in as well. "Watashi wa baka desu yo!"
rat called before I left work to make a grocery run so when he got back home he also had a baked potato for me. We ate, I stuck another part of Kokigami out on For-chan's forum for those who had not read it, made rat relieve my stress (I am SUCH a male when it comes to that!), decided it was too late to begin watching another ep of Saiyuki so we watched some timeshifted "terebe" stuff while we both worked on our computers. We are such nerds.
Then rat told me he had a job interview today and he really was not sure about the company's future so he was a little leery about it. Plus he would only be making about the same as he is making now at Blockbuster being a warehouse worker. The company does sound interesting though. The inventor of the product owns the company and they have the exclusive rights to make these diving watch computer devices. It reads the depth and tells the diver when it is time to move up to a more shallow depth. It takes the guesswork out of when to move to the next level, which will help prevent the bends. All the stats can be loaded into a computer and analysed. Sounded fascinating to me and was impressed rat had done thorough homework on the company prior to the interview. I was officially certified to scuba in 1978 (I know, some of you were not even born yet- urusei! *snicker*) but I would not EVEN consider going out on a free dive with an inexperienced partner without going through re-certification. I know the diving technology alone has changed drastically in 25 years. Everything else has!
Anyway, I told him to go interview anyway. If he does not get picked (seven applicants are in the running) he can get interview experience, which is alway valuable. And I told him, you never know when an interview with one company may get you one with another because the first one remembers your skill set would match perfectly. rat had not considered that aspect. It's pretty typical with multimedia networking.
Interview update: Just got a call from rat; says it went okay. The interviewer likes seeing some of the test equipment experience on rat's resume. It's a down time for them right now, in prep to gear up for a new product in the works. Money would be about the same as he is making now, maybe a bit more but if they put him on salary he would not be paid overtime and be worked until whatever got finished. We shall see.
rat has suggested we go to the local Italian restaurant tonight for the 'pity party' after the failed quiz. I agreed. Guess I will get back into the gear on Thursday, when I do my weekly language lab hour. I haven't had a chance to review the next group of tapes at all because of this quiz so I need to get caught up on those soon.
Today at lunch I finally decided it was not worth it to be so fucking fucked up about this quiz. I also have realized I am at one of those learning plateaus where nothing is getting in so I just need to sit back and relax a bit and take the "F" grade gracefully. It's time to just let it go.
And I considered I could take supplemental classes elsewhere.
All this hell is probably the reason why Evan has jumped on my ass and has given me some inspiration recently. Probably all the creativity is just being squeezed out of me because there's no room for it because of all the Japanese.
Today I scribbled some stuff down between looking at a catalog for some textbook examination copy ideas, dealing with late timesheets and waiting for the district server to get back online because I couldn't get any computer work done anyway.
Forgot the title I had floating in my brain this morning for yet another little snippet that came out yesterday morning at the breakfast table. It may or may not come back.
Dasia solidified an idea I had been thinking about just by mentioning it without me even talking about it.
I don't want to think major stress in a Japanese class causes creativity...
This morning I walked in and asked rat if I had woken up screaming because I had fuzzily remembered him comforting me last night. He said yes. Then I remembered what the image was burned in my brain: A KATAKANA "O"!!!
Damnit, this quiz anticipation is really making me literally crazy.
Realized this morning yaoicon is this weekend and got more depressed.
Last week I signed up to go to a local con the Thanksgiving weekend, ItzaCon and specifically for the two-day anime art workshop:
2-DAY ANIME ART WORKSHOP (benefitting Studio Ironcat) Steve Bennett, President of Studio Ironcat, has agreed to conduct a 2-day, 3-4 hrs. per day actual art training seminar covering all things manga/anime. The How and Why of the character design, how to turn regular art piece into an anime styled work, line thicknesses, how to indicate motion, how to paint cels, the meanings behind the various types of art stylings, proportions, eye shape/size and the meanings, etc. Manga/anime has a specific look and there are REASONS for that.
Day 1: The basics the initial concept, line drawings, pencils, body positionings, etc.
Day 2: Finishing the Work inking, coloring, backgrounds, etc.
Includes pens, paint, pencils and all materials. This extensive class costs $25 and the proceeds benefit Studio Ironcat. (It is suggested you register for this in advance, either by mail or via the PayPal registration form, so we have enough seats)
Sounded interesting.
Rat will probably be working the whole time so it will be just me. Hoping some of the anime club folks decided to attend the workshop.
Wish I could stay home today since my sinuses are acting up. Too much to do...
I am going to pound my head into the wall repeatedly now.
The oral quiz did NOT happen tonight because of scheduling mix-ups not sensei's fault. This means I get to suffer through two more days of uber-stress.
Spent two hours in the language lab Sat. Was glad I brought the night guard with me since I was clenching my teeth by the eighth question. Ran the tape three times again too. So now I can semi-regurgitate those answers. Hopefully the real quiz will be close to the study tape.
Enjoyed AIMing with Talon and For-chan Sat. night even for those few minutes. Do wish you were taking Japanese with me, For-chan. otana-sama, we want you as our study sensei!
*shakes finger at Joules* Sleep, woman! You cannot afford to get run down!
rat gave me a good way to remember the difference between 'dare' and 'dore'. He told me to just think as dare like DAR, dealing with people. That helps.
Anyway, plan to study at lunch again today. Then off I go to fail the quiz. rat thinks I may get a "B" now. I will be VERY lucky to get a low "C" in my opinion. I HATE quizzes. That's why I give my students take-home practicums and they are allowed to use their notes, the Help in the software and their books. My test anxiety is very real and very acute.
Ugh, gotta get the bookorder done today, well, as much as I can. Some book decisions are still up in the air and they know it HAS to be done by Wednesday. No bet on me getting the information on time, however. And the budget for next year is due Wednesday as well. It's gonna be a week from hell...
Anyway, gotta run so I can get to work before it opens so I can leave precisely at 5pm to go study some more before class.
Today we actually remembered (we forgot last year) it was the anniversary of us signing the legal papers for incorporation of state. In other words, get hitched. We just went down to the JP during both our lunch hours one day and did it. No fanfare, nada, zip. Just signed the papers then went to lunch.
Our folks still don't know, along with lots of other people.
How long ago? We think it's been five years but we cannot find the certificate to verify the year. We lived together for a decade prior to the paper-signing and we kinda sorta count it since we had pledged our troth (July 6) to each other permanently two months after we started seeing each other.
rat was ready to get married in the beginning. I said give it two years. Two years later he was talking about it again and I said no way, why mess up a good thing? The idea of marriage, meaning wedding in many ways, made me think I would go through a mental change in attitude and become a mega-bitch from hell to rat (even more than I am now-hee!) so I did not want to go through that and more so, put HIM through it.
Finally, a series of horrible nightmares and gruesome thoughts got me realizing it was time to commit. When we did it, the nightmares magically disappeared. And while the gruesome thoughts still pop up occasionally (don't want to go there...) things are more stablized in my mind and soul, obviously.
We have been mentally married for (we think) 15 years and it's even better than before. It's the sap fount for my stories and artwork.
I wish everyone the same kind of relationship. I especially treasure it because I thought I would never find anyone. I had resigned myself to the fact I would live and die alone. Being in a relationship with a male was too much work and I refused to play the petty games or be something (not someone) I was not. I was willing to fuck them, but not to commit to them, especially after all the heartache and heartbreak I had dealt with so many times in the past. It was just not worth it.
Woman were really not an option because I was not attracted to them. Only a very few sparked a fleeting interest but it was more of an experimental thing and I was never interested enough to follow through.
It was easier to have a few fuck-buddies. We'd meet every few months or so, get rid of the tension and have a nice chat afterward about the various folks we were seeing and perhaps even help each other resolve relationship issues. May seem like a strange situation to some but it worked very well for us. And these were the casual sex years, late 70s-early 80s, no AIDS threat yet.
This pattern continued until the rat came along. He did not play games and let me be me. Floored me. And it was like we had known each other in past lives because we were so comfortable with each other and already seemed to know each other well. Not only do I suspect we are soulmates but I also suspect in a past life or lives I have been the male and he the female!
Anyway, enough about this sappiness. I am going to bed so I can get up and be waiting outside the Language Lab at noon tomorrow...
I am just so utterly PISSED OFF about the meds not working!!!
You know where I am and yes, I WILL be checking email this weekend in case you contact me! To hell with Japanese - if you need to vent, I am here for you!
Spent an hour in the language lab tonight and watched the review three times. By the time the third run finished the pain between my eyes was making me cross-eyed. I felt my jaw throbbing too so I knew the headache was from stress and clenching my teeth.
It's pretty damned hopeless. I will definitely fail this one. I just cannot hear everything being asked if the sentence is too long. I can read the question and answer pretty well, but cannot grasp it if I have to pick it out from someone speaking.
I will still read over the oral review questions and answers and will probably go to the lab again on Saturday. It closes at 4:30pm on Fridays so I will not be able to go tomorrow.
The written quiz went fine. Sensei gave us the hint to study the words he gave us on Monday. So I did that and knew them all, I think. No Kanji yet again. Another stressful study time wasted, but not really. Now I can recognize the two Kanji for '"today" pretty consistently.
Actually gave sensei a word for the board last night. We had gotten the final row of Katakana, the 'r's and 'wa' and I piped up and said I had translated a word from a manga just that morning which would work as an example: merîgôrando. He liked it and used it.
The oral test is going to drop my 'grade' a lot. If I get a "D" I will be doing well. I can answer questions if the oral sentences he gives are no longer than five to six words long. Any longer and my brain scrambles it all up into mush. Maybe if I was younger my brain would be more elastic. Going to the Language Lab tonight to suffer for hours over the oral review. I just haven't found the 'regurgitation' mode for longer sentences yet. And I still haven't gotten the who, what, where words completely straight yet. I will definitely not be around in cyberspace this weekend because I will be cramming all this into my pea brain. Time to make more flashcards and continue building that database of words.
*finally is able to find a hole to peek through because of the mega-Sage glomp*
urr... umm...
Glad you like the banners! Oof! Watch the feet, boys! rat likes those bits of me and would like me to keep them.
Thanks for the good luck vibes about the quizzes, everyone! I am pretty confident about the written one, although I always miss one thing on those because I just flub it for some reason.
I WILL fail the oral quiz, but I am still going to work hard at it. I will be in the language lab Thursday and may even consider going in on Friday or Saturday. So I will probably be pretty quiet around here for the next week except for a stray comment or two, maybe a quiz.
I do hope the muses do not distract me like they are known to do when I have pressing matters to attend to. *shudders* I can just imagine Grunt thwacking me on the head with a way to wrap up the 'fic that would not end', just to taunt me. Will just keep my notebooks handy.
Have had some of the most interesting reviews about the latest fic so far. Plan to delve into it on the crap blog later on, unless my brain loses my thoughts, which has been happening a lot lately. Tch, I depend on these things to help me remember my thoughts!
Ken! Good luck on the (hopefully) final checkup! Thinking healthy thoughts to you! And lots of creative jibes to get back to it are being sent to you as well!
Well, time for me to sign out and get ready for work.
textbook orders
deskcopy orders
budget paperwork
studying for two separate Japanese quizzes - one written (kana/kanji) for Wed and one oral for Mon
gathering syllabi
lining up instructors
work on faculty resource site
shoot self
Woke up at 8:30am, did the breakfast thing, read some, fell back asleep about noon and did not wake up until 5pm. Did not even wake up for a potty break. Did some email, played with a few new banners, adjusted some others and sent them out, called Talon around 5:45pm after I had woken up some and chatted for about 15 minutes until she had to go to the grocery. I pulled out the Japanese and started trying to get some of it to sink in. We are now dealing with 'existence', there is a cat, it is a pond, etc. Imasu and Arimasu specifically.
rat came home at 6:45pm and as I predicted, Talon, he walked in and announced he wanted Italian food at the local cafe, so I was forced to drag myself out of bed to shower and dress. We ate, got back, rat watched a little TV while I played with banners and I noticed he was falling asleep in his chair so I told him to go to bed. That was at 9:30pm and I am feeling utterly exhausted myself, eyes burning, body limp. I must be trying to fight something off, so I am going to go to bed now.
Always dead dog meat by Thursday night. Went to the Language Lab for the next round of tapes right after work. That probably does not help my energy level.
Been 'crafty' lately and soon some of you will see the fruits of my labors. Actually, Joules has been seeing quite a bit of it and inspired me to do more.
Anyway, Friday is always a hectic day, what with being severely understaffed to begin with and having two of the people who are supposed to be here still out with strep throat so I need to get it in gear and get to work early. I will probably end up shutting the place down too. Plus we have the Anime Club going on all afternoon and officially they need to be monitored at all times by the sponsor. Unofficially I peek in every half-hour or so because work keeps me busy. No, I don't get the chance or the luxury to watch anything anymore.
Nasty night. Kept waking up every couple of hours for some reason, and feeling total wrung out each time I did. Great... I am going to be functioning so well by class tonight.
Still cannot sleep with the night guard in place, which is annoying.
We will be having the first oral quiz on Monday and I WILL be failing it. Sensei went over exactly how it will occur and will go over it again tonight and I just cannot retain it. Basically he has told us the quiz will be us repeating back what he says but giving the answer to the question he will be asking. Well, by the time he gets to the question for each sentence I have lost what the first part of the sentence is. I know he is right about listening to what is being said carefully so we will be able to answer a Japanese person correctly but it will not stick in this pea brain. So I figure he will be entertained by my recorded answers, since I will be saying 'I don't know' in French and cursing in Japanese.
rat keeps having to remind me I did not sign up for the class to learn how to speak it but to learn how to read and write it. Still, as I tell him, I still need to understand the sentence structure and how things are said so I will know what is being said in the translation.
Oh well. The last quiz went off pretty well. I did not know the Hiragana for Ko or So because I have never been able to see either on the board so I know I missed that part of the translation section but everything else was pretty easy. We had to translate Japanese into English and not do it literally. So nothing like "That is a car of Tokyo". He wanted the translation to reflect how the sentence would be said in English.
Gotta run and get ready for another wonderful day at work.
Thanks: --> to Lia, my sensei, who has inspired me to draw again. I
wouldn't be doing this without your support, Domo Arigato!
--> to Talon, for sending me her fabulous fics, inspiring me with her writing to draw my first
illustration for a story and actually liking what I drew.
--> to Dasia, for her words of encouragement when drawing her original chara.
--> to Joules, a wonderful epic fic writer, for liking my art enough to want to post them with Talon's
and her own stories.
--> to Lutra, the other half of the epic team, for being so supportive.
--> to Jacque' & Becca Raddittzu, we met on eBay as bidder and sellers and now we are face-to-face
friends. You showed us the real DBZ with your fansubs. It's all your fault the house is full of
doujinshi! *LOL*
:: welcome to bakayaro onna's mindless ramblings, rants & raves :: 
Happy Halloween!
